


Rom(an) Wasn't Built in a Day

by DramaticGarbage



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Human AU, I think?, Insults, M/M, Roceit - Freeform, Theater AU, drinking/alcohol mention, food/eating mention, past minor character death mention, threat of implied violence, tragic backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26796886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticGarbage/pseuds/DramaticGarbage
Summary: Janus starts his new job at the theater and meets some interesting people.. But one of them sticks out especially. There has to be more to him than meets the eye.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 62
Kudos: 123





	1. Chapter 1

Janus walked up to the theatre, confident about his first day at his new job. He’d been communicating with the stage manager through email, but today was the first day he’d be in in person. He made his way through the front door, heading back toward the backstage area as he’d been instructed in the most recent email. 

It didn’t take long before he ran into someone, a man who raised an eyebrow at him as he approached and seemed to be trying to place who he was and why he was walking backstage. Janus couldn’t help but take note of his ripped black skinny jeans and the open hoodie he wore that seemed to be 50% jacket and 50% patches holding it together.

“...Hey uh, can I help you?” He asked, looking slightly wary. 

“Yeah, probably. I’m Janus, the new costume designer, and I’m supposed to meet with someone named Logan?” He explained, watching as the slight concern left the other man’s face with the explanation. 

“Oh, gotcha. I’ll take you to him.” He nodded off further into the backstage area, turning so he could lead him off. 

Janus followed after him, glancing around a bit backstage and taking note of some of the people working and how some of the areas were set up. It didn’t take long before he’d been led to a very serious looking man, dressed all in black and looking over the clipboard he held in his hands. 

He turned to them as they approached, quickly registering that he didn’t recognize Janus and then turning to the other man questioningly. 

“This is the new costume designer.” He said simply, gesturing to him.

“Ah, I see. Perfect timing then. I’m Logan Douglas.” He said, holding out a hand to shake Janus’s. 

“Janus Duncan. You’re who I was emailing with, correct?” 

“Precisely, I’m the stage manager and resident dramaturge, so I’ll be the one overseeing your projects.” He nodded. 

“Alright, cool. ...Is there something I should start on first?” 

“Hmm.. I see you’ve already met Virgil, perhaps he can give you a quick tour and show you where the existing costumes are, as well as the materials we already have on hand.” Logan said, turning to the other man. Virgil apparently. 

“...We’ve met in a manner of speaking at least, but that seems like a good idea to me.” Janus gave a slight shrug. 

Logan immediately cocked an eyebrow. “This is Virgil Carver, he oversees the crews for both lighting and sound.” 

Virgil gave him a small playful wave, a soft smirk at the corner of his mouth. Janus nodded in response, but before he could say anything, Logan gave a single curt nod as well and walked off, quickly and with purpose.

The costumer watched him go, raising an eyebrow as he turned back to Virgil.

The other man just shrugged. “That’s Logan for you, you’ll get used to him. Good guy, very no nonsense though. But whatever, come on. I’ll give you the tour.” 

Virgil led him around backstage, showing him different areas and vaguely introducing him to a couple people that they encountered as they went. They eventually found their way to a large dressing room that had clearly been turned into their costume room, there was a desk with a sewing machine and other supplies, some rolling clothing racks with seemingly random costumes on them, a scattering of fabrics and threads.. It was a mess. 

Janus turned to Virgil, raising an eyebrow, and Virgil just gave him another noncommittal shrug. “The last costumer was a bit of a... Tornado, to put it bluntly. Logan just couldn’t handle it anymore after a while. So, uh.. Do what you need to do to make the space workable, but.. I’d recommend some kind of organizational system. Probably will end up keeping you around a lot longer. So... Maybe get acquainted with your new work space, I’ll come check back in with you after I make sure my crews haven’t combusted without me.” 

The costumer looked incredulously back at him, responding with a bit of a sassy huff. “Of course, that’s such a _simple_ job. See you in _five_.” He turned, taking off his jacket and putting it on the chair so he could get to work on cleaning up his new area. 

Virgil just smirked, turning and leaving him to it. Janus definitely had spirit, he liked that. He might actually fit in around here. He didn’t actually go and check on the costumer again for about forty minutes, figuring he could use the time to figure out what he had available to him and get it set up how he liked. 

When he stepped back into the doorway, he was surprised to see the mess was actually gone. The costume racks were somewhat organized by what was on them, the fabric was folded up neatly on the desk, and Janus was currently sorting the thread into a drawer. 

“...Damn, dude. It’s a whole new place in here.” Virgil said, leaning against the door and crossing his arms.

Janus turned with another huff, still looking a bit salty. “ _Like I had a choice?_ ” 

The other man just laughed, giving him a side shrug. “...Fair point.” 

“Alright. So what’s next for me now that I’ve finished cleaning duty?” 

“We already have the base costumes for the upcoming show, but some need some tailoring to get them to fit a bit better. We’ll have to get them all to come through so you can get measurements.” Virgil explained, nodding back out of the room. 

With a sigh, Janus picked up his jacket and rested it over his shoulders, almost like a cape, turning to follow after Virgil once again. 

They went around and introduced Janus to a good deal of the main actors for the upcoming show, letting each of them know to come through the costumer’s “office” with their costume when they had the chance. 

That task ended up being most of Janus’s first week of work, just getting all of the main costumes fitted nicely, as well giving a few of them a couple fixes and upgrades. But once it was done, he figured all he could really do was check with Logan and see what else needed doing.

He walked up to the stage manager, and despite the fact that Janus had only worked there for less than a handful of days, he was already getting used to how Logan seemed to always know when he was coming, him turning to him before he had actually fully joined him. 

“Did you need something, Janus?” He asked, looking up from his clipboard. 

“Hey Lo, yeah. I finished up the fittings, is there something else you want me to get started on?” He asked, sliding his hands into his pockets. 

The dramaturge looked back to his clipboard, using the back end of his pen to lead his eyes down the page. He flipped to the next one, and the next, reading long enough that Janus wondered if he’d gotten lost in what had to be a very fast paced mind. But after a few long moments he looked back up to him. “Yes, we have a scene that would benefit from more people on the stage. It is too bare to create enough of a necessary suspension of disbelief for a bustling town. We need extras.” 

Janus blinked, expecting more information for what that had to do with him. “...Alright, and I should do...?” 

“We’ll need costumes made or fitted to some stagehands, just a few who wouldn’t cause any issues by being missing from backstage for a scene. There’s a fair number of available stagehands, get.. Approximately seven or so of them in some simple villager costumes.” Logan decided, looking to him once he’d made the decision. 

“Alright, I will.. Get on that. We don’t have that much matching fabric in the room, do I need to go get some?” Janus asked, considering all he’d need to do to make this happen. 

“If need be, you can bring me the receipt for the reimbursement. But check in the back first, there is another box of fabric backstage.” Logan nodded, turning back to the clipboard and walking off. Apparently the conversation was over. Alright. 

Janus just turned to go see if he could find what he’d been told apparently existed, wandering a bit through the backstage area and looking around at any boxes he came across. He did eventually spot it, a large box that simply read “Spare Bolts.” He might not have realized that was what he’d been searching for, but thankfully there was a bit of material hanging out of the top. The new problem was that it was up high.. And even if he could comfortably reach it, he had no doubt that it would be rather heavy. He must have been standing there for a good moment, considering his options, because a voice from behind him jolted him from his thoughts.

“Hey, uh.. Do you need any help?” 

He turned quickly to find the source of the voice, taking in the person before him.

Janus always looked at what people wore, he really couldn’t help himself. He was a costumer, a designer... A tailor for all intents and purposes. He could tell a good deal about someone from what they chose to wear. 

Logan was strict and proper. His black tie was always immaculately tied and rested below the collar of his black polo, which was tucked perfectly into his black slacks, which ended in exactly the right place on his ankle, just above his black wingtip shoes. He had to imagine he only wore all black because of his job, but there was no doubt in Janus’s mind that the rest of his wardrobe was just as perfectly particular, even if it managed to range in more colors than this. Though he did assume that range was a rather small one. 

Virgil had a bit of an edgy streak, but he was still rather shy. He was trying to pull off an ‘intimidating emo’ kind of look, with his distressed skinny jeans, black eyeshadow, and heavy boots. But the costumer could tell immediately that that hoodie was a comfort object. It protected him just enough to make him feel more comfortable. 

He had a knack for these things. So he didn’t want to say that he couldn’t place the person now before him, that wasn’t what it was.. It was just sort’ve confusing. He wore big, baggy jeans, the extra material bunching up where they met his plain tennis shoes, along with an oversized pullover hoodie - the kind with the big kangaroo pocket in front. He was sort’ve dressed like he was trying to hide himself. Like he didn’t want to stick out, or be paid attention to, and trying to seem like he didn’t really care what it was that he had on. 

That, in and of itself, wasn’t all that strange. A lot of teenagers dressed that way. Or people with body insecurity. Or even someone wearing some sort of handmedowns. But these clothes were definitely newer, not especially worn in, so he doubted they were second hand. And there was no way that this man had accidentally wound up with clothes too big for him.. He was just too big for that. 

Janus wasn’t especially tall, but he wasn’t short either. And this guy had to be a half a head if not more taller than him, with shoulders that made that baggy hoodie hang like a potato sack around the rest of his body. He had long legs that disappeared under all that material, and finding pants long enough to be too long would have taken actual effort. It would have been much easier for him to find things that actually fit than this oversized... Mess, if he was blunt.

He forced his eyes up to meet his, rather than continuing to judge his clothing. “...Yes, actually. I need to get that box down, but I need to find a stepladder or something.” He explained.

The man before him looked to the box, tilting his head slightly and stepping forward, pushing up onto his toes so he could pull it down for him. Once he’d gotten the heavy box into his arms, he turned to Janus. “Where does it need to go?” 

The costumer blinked, he made that look so easy. “...The.. The costume room.” 

“Ok. I can do that.” He said with a smile, walking off with the box. It took Janus a moment to remember he needed to go along as well, but he hurried after him a few seconds later. 

The box was placed down to the side of his desk, the larger man turning to him with a soft smile as he, seemingly instinctively, slid both of his hands into that big hoodie pocket. “Do you need anything else?” 

“That’s all for now, thank you.” Janus said, still trying to figure out what to make of him. 

“Alright. Well let me know if anything else comes up.” He gave him a nod and turned, heading back to continue doing.. Whatever it had been he’d been doing. 

Janus found himself watching him walk off, thinking. 

“...Hey, you good?”

He turned at the sound of the voice, finding that Virgil had joined him at his side. 

“Oh, hey. Yeah, uh.. What’s up with that guy?” Janus asked quietly, nodding his head toward the man’s back as he continued to get farther away. 

Virgil turned to see who it was before meeting the costumer’s gaze once again. “Oh, that’s Roman. He’s... Quiet. A good guy, hard worker. Definitely a people pleaser. If you ever need anything, he’s generally the guy to go to. He’ll do it.” Virgil shrugged. 

That had him raising an eyebrow. “...Just.. Anything?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. I’ve known him since high school, he’s just.. I don’t know. Really like..A sweet guy, but there’s a kind of weird vibe there. Like.. It seems like he’s helpful to the point that he’s, like, trying to make up for.. Occupying space or something. You feel me?” Virgil explained, trying to put words to the feeling. 

Janus stuck his bottom lip out in a bit of a considering pout, turning again to look in the direction Roman had walked off in. ...There was a story there. And he wanted to know what it was.


	2. Chapter 2

Janus didn’t have an exact game plan in mind for trying to figure out what was going on with Roman, and for now he did have a job he was supposed to be doing. The first step was go through the new fabric he’d just received, get that organized, and make a plan for how to go about these costumes.

Once everything was accounted for, he sketched up concepts and ran the designs by Logan to ensure they were what the dramaturge had in mind. Once they’d been okayed, he could actually start getting some crew volunteers. That whole process took a couple days, and then he started pulling a few people to get them measured. He found a few on his own to actually grab measurements from before he had to go to Virgil to ask for suggestions for people to pull. He didn’t know everyone’s position quite yet, and he didn’t exactly want to ask every single person he saw what job they did to find out if he could recruit them to Logan’s project.

Virgil helped him get a few more before he had to get back to work himself, and Janus went off to handle those measurements before trying some more on his own. It was when he was waving the last person on his list out of his office that he spotted an opportunity.

He sat down the pad of paper he’d been holding and stepped out of his office, walking over to someone in his line of vision.

“Hey, Roman?” He called.

The man in question turned to see him, giving him a small smile. They’d talked once or twice more since meeting, getting in an actual introduction. “Oh hey, Janus! What’s going on?”

“I was wondering if you might be willing to help me with something Logan wants me to do.”

“Oh, of course. What do you need?” He asked.

“...Actually, what’s your job around here?” Janus asked, letting his eyes trail over the mess that was Roman’s clothes.

“Uh, just.. General stagehand stuff? I sorta help out wherever.” He shrugged, watching Janus’s eyes trailing over him.

“Oh perfect. Logan wants me to get a few stagehands fitted for costumes, he apparently wants to fill out a scene with a few more people.” He explained.

“...Costumes? Like.. Actually being on the stage?” He asked, clearly surprised.

“Yeah. No speaking lines or anything, just kinda.. Standing there and watching what’s happening, I guess.” He shrugged.

“O-oh, uh.. I mean.. Yeah. I can do that, I guess. If.. If you’re sure.” He answered a bit nervously, Janus noting how his hands had made their way back into his hoodie pocket.

Janus looked at him softly. “...You really don’t have to, you know? If you aren’t comfortable I can find someone else. No pressure, it’s okay.”

He took a moment to look over the costumer’s expression before letting out a slow breath. “...No, I can. It’s.. No big deal.”

“...I will need to get your measurements, if that’s also alright.” Janus added slowly.

Roman gave him a slow nod in recognition before quickly glancing down at himself then back to him. “...Alright. If that’s.. What you need.”

“...Come with me, okay?” He nodded him toward his office, turning to lead him inside. Once they were in he shut the door nearly all the way, definitely enough so that no one could see inside, before he turned to him again. “Roman, you don’t have to do this just because I asked, you know that, right? I will ask someone else if this idea makes you at all uncomfortable.”

The stagehand studied his expression for several long moments, but after a few he gave him a very soft smile. “...Thank you, I.. but I want to help. What do I need to do?”

“I’d need.. You need to take that hoodie off so I can get your measurements. If that’s alright.” Janus explained slowly, recognizing that it was Roman’s decision, he wasn’t going to try and stop him.

Roman’s cheeks darkened a bit, him looking down and fumbling a bit with the hem of the oversized garment. The costumer turned to his desk to get his pen and little roll of measuring tape, wanting to give the stagehand another few moments to consider his options with the small amount of privacy that he could currently provide.

When he did finally glance up to check on him, he was rather surprised at what he saw. Roman had shed the outer layer, placing it down on the desk and waiting for Janus to turn back, standing there in a fitted white undershirt. 

He was clearly naturally built, with wide shoulders and a broad chest that tapered down into a slim waist, his lower body then disappeared into those obscenely baggy pants that were, unsurprisingly, only managing to stay on him because of the belt he wore. His arms were obviously strong, another unsurprising development with how he was clearly the go to person for moving heavy things around the theater.

Janus looked up at his face as he moved in closer to actually measure him, waiting for a nod from him before he brought the tape measure around his trim waist to begin getting the numbers he needed. He just went about his job like a professional, jotting down the numbers on the notepad as he got them.

Once he was done, he saw Roman immediately dive back into the hoodie, his hands in that large front pocket as soon as they were able. There were several questions simmering inside of Janus, and he honestly had no idea where to begin. He also didn’t want to be invasive or make him any more uncomfortable than he already seemed to be...

He just gave him a little smile, reaching out to, somewhat awkwardly, give him a pat on the shoulder. “Alright, I’ll let you know when I need you to come do an actual fitting. Thanks for helping out, Roman. I appreciate it.”

Roman’s expression lit up immediately, him giving Janus a little nod along with a, frankly adorable, smile. “Yeah, no problem. Uh, just let me know. You know where to find me.”

“I definitely do. See you around, Ro.”

The stagehand blinked in some amount of surprise, giving him a small smile after a moment as he pulled open the door and left with a little wave. “...See you around, Jan.”

The costumer watched him go, a bit surprised at.. Well, most of what had just happened, actually. But especially that ending bit. Was.. Roman just not that close to anyone? To be surprised to hear what to be a common nickname for him? ...More questions, always more.

Janus just decided to focus on his project for now, he had a few costumes that he could just alter a bit, and a few that would need to essentially be made from scratch. None of them were all that intricate, thankfully it was a simple peasant type outfit, so he was able to get the project done in less than a week and he rounded up all the stagehands he’d recruited at once so he could essentially parade them in front of Logan to ensure that this project had gone the way he’d envisioned.

All of them but Roman were changed, Janus giving them one more look over and giving Roman as much as he needed to join them. The others had all either changed in the restroom or just right there in the backstage area, but the costumer had offered the largest stagehand his office to change in - an offer than had been graciously accepted.

The door cracked open after a couple more minutes, Roman peaking out to see everyone standing there - essentially waiting for him. Janus turned to him with a kind, but questioning expression.

“...Is everything alright, Ro? Do you need any help with anything?” He called out, the other stagehands turning to see him.

Roman was doing what he could to keep from blushing, quickly shaking his head. “Uh.. Nope. I’m.. I’m all good. Just, uh.. Coming out right now.” He pushed the door the rest of the way open, them all suddenly seeing him standing there in the doorway. Janus had definitely kept the costumes - Roman’s especially, rather modest, not wanting to have them be too form fitting or any kind of revealing. But absolutely anything that Janus could had given Roman was going to be tighter than his usual choice of clothing.

He looked nice though. He was in a tunic style top that still was a bit baggy in places, but didn’t completely swallow him whole, and simple cloth pants that actually stopped before his feet. They were a little more form fitting in the thigh than Janus was anticipating, but he hadn’t measured around Roman’s legs for fear of getting too in his personal space.

His gaze was traveling across all of them, hands instinctively going to rest in front of his stomach until he realized there was no pocket there and had to simply let them hang at his sides, but he stood still and waited for someone to say something. Anything.

Janus opened his mouth to do so, but was beaten to the punch by one of the stagehands.

“Damn, Roman! This is what you’ve been hiding under that jacket all this time? You look amazing!” She said excitedly, clapping her hands together.

“Yeah, dude. Shit, maybe we should have Janus make you some clothes more often.” Another joked, smiling with a light laugh.

The costumer immediately realized something he hadn’t before, these were all stagehands. They all worked together, they knew Roman. They must have seen and picked up on how he held himself.. And now they were being supportive of him. Trying to help and encourage him. ...That didn’t make him feel any kind of way in particular, not at all. He was simply.. Glad that Roman had good people in his life. That was all. Don’t read into it.

“You won’t hear any objections from me.” Janus added, crossing his arms and giving Roman a soft smirk.

The tallest of them looked across all them again, seeming to be looking for some kind of objection.. Someone holding back a negative comment. But there was nothing. Inviting expressions and kind words, that was all that was there. His cheeks darkened a bit more, but a smile grew across his face just as quickly, and he gave them a soft little, “...thank you.” In response.

From there they went off to find Logan, the stage manager giving them all a silent, lengthy, scrutinizing. Even Janus felt himself squirm a little under that piercing gaze. But suddenly Logan just turned to the costumer, giving him a nod. “Very well, they are more than good enough for our purposes. Excellent work, Janus.” Then he turned to the stagehands before him. “You will all report to dress rehearsals as needed, thank you for your participation.” After one more nod he turned on his heel and walked off, as was in his character to do.

Janus just turned to people beside him. “I’m _sure_ that gets _so_ much easier to deal with over time.” He commented in his sarcastic drawl, earning a couple laughs and comments of agreement.

From there time went on as normally as ever, everyone working and pitching in as opening night approached. The couple weeks that were between the costume fitting and the actual show were definitely amazing for most of the crew, genuinely just because of the curious case of Roman. As the dress rehearsals really started up, the stagehand seemed to be opening up and just seeming more comfortable in his own skin. The last rehearsal before opening night, he even showed up to the theater without his signature hoodie. He still had his baggy pants, and in place of the hoodie was an open flannel - but it wasn’t lost on anyone that that was a huge step forward for the normally strangely timid and seemingly self conscious young man.

And then.. Opening night. The play went off without a hitch - Janus assumed mostly due to the fear of upsetting Logan, and despite their inexperience and bit of stage fright, the stagehands did their part just as they were supposed to. They even went out on stage at the end with the other actors to get applause and cheers, them all smiling and laughing, just having fun with it.

Once the show was over, the actors tended to go out in the foyer still in costume. They could talk to some of the audience members, take a couple pictures with friends.. Just a little something fun once the show had ended.

There was something in the pit of Janus’s stomach. He didn’t know what it was.. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to check.. But he found himself wandering to the door of the foyer, glancing around at his coworkers... New friends maybe, if he was into that kind of thing.. And that was when he spotted Roman. He was off to the side, still in his costume, with a few other people who Janus hadn’t seen before. He couldn’t hear them from where he stood, but it was clear that Roman could. Whatever they were saying had the stagehand slowly hunching his shoulders back down, his arms wrapping around himself as though he had his hoodie pocket back to hide them. All of the progress Roman had made over the last couple weeks was evaporating right before his eyes.

Janus was _livid_.


	3. Chapter 3

Janus wasn’t sure the last time he felt so much fire burning inside him. And the closer he got to Roman and this little group, the worse it became. As he approached, he was starting to hear some of the things they were saying to him. 

“...surprised they managed to find something to fit _you_. It’s not like anything else does.”

“At least they didn’t give him anything to say, you know how well that would’ve gone...” 

“You realize that people are going to think you’re-”

“Ro, there you are! I was looking for you.” Janus interrupted, stepping up to stand beside him. 

Roman looked a bit surprised as he turned to look at him. “..Oh hey, Jan. Um.. Mom, Dad, Sis, this is Janus. He’s the theater’s costume designer. Um, Jan, these are my parents, and my sister, Sicily.” 

Janus turned to the three before him, raising an eyebrow as he looked them over. Scrutinizing them. He never would have guessed that these people were Roman’s family, not for a single moment. And not just because he overheard some of those awful disparaging comments that no one should be saying to anyone. Especially not to family. _Especially_ not to Roman. 

All three of them were quite small, their features very sharp. They looked like near clones of one another, a perfectly matched set of little runway types. Janus knew clothes better than most, and these three were dressed to the nines in clearly overpriced fast fashion. There wasn’t a wrinkle in sight, their shoes perfectly shined, all their jewelry clearly made of real gold and actual diamonds. And there was no way those purses weren’t real leather. There was dressing to impress, dressing to feel good about yourself.. And then there was dressing to let people know you think you’re better than them. 

He was more than prepared to use that silver tongue of his, if there was one thing he could do - besides tailoring, it was completely destroy someone verbally. He waited, waiting- _hoping_ for, one of them to try something with him standing right there. He was already loading responses up in his mind, almost getting excited about the opportunity.

“You’re the costume designer? I was just saying that the costumes were the best part of the whole show!” Roman’s sister piped up, giving him a fake smile that probably fooled most. 

“Oh, I think the exact same thing, Sici! They were simply gorgeous up there under all the lights, I swear those outfits were so perfect.. I think I might have gotten so caught up looking at them that I was distracted from actually listening to the lines!” His mother chimed in with an equally fake smile, overly sugared voice, and forced laugh - clearly trying to win his favor. 

Janus was sickened. Beyond sickened. This was just... It was disgusting. He blinked a few times, slowly nodding. “...thank you. Well.. While I’m sure this conversation would’ve been spectacularly _insipid_ , I really need to take Roman back with me. I hope you don’t mind me taking you away from your most _unctuous_ , _sanctimonious_ family.”

Roman was looking back at him, clearly unsure what some of those words meant, but the costumer could see that his family obviously didn’t either - judging by how thoroughly complimented they looked. “...Um, of course, was there something I needed to do?” 

“Yes, and you are the only one who could possibly assist.” Janus reiterated, actually reaching out and linking their arms together so he could start to give him a tug in the other direction. 

There was a dusting of red on the stagehand’s cheeks, but he nodded to him before looking back to his family. “...See you guys later. Uh... Thanks for.. Coming by.”

“Of course, Roman! We’ll see you soon, sweetheart!” His mother said, her smile as sweet as sugar substitute and twice as fake.

“Bye Janus!” Sicily called in a sing-song voice, also giving him a “cute” little wave, complete with wiggling spirit fingers. 

Janus just tugged Roman away, taking him back to the backstage and away from those awful people. He was seeing red, he was seething mad, his heart was pounding, his chest was heaving, his-

“So, uh.. What did you need my help with, Jan?” Roman asked, looking down at him with confusion, his head tilting to the side like some kind of puppy.

The costumer looked up at him, searching his expression. He didn’t look especially upset, he was just.. Waiting to be told what to do. 

Janus sighed, pulling his arm back and rubbing his temples. “...Ro, how old are you?” 

He blinked, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Uh, twenty three.”

“Good. Go get dressed, we’re going out for a drink.” He said, doing all he could not to stomp off to his office. 

Roman watched him go, pausing for a moment before doing as he’d been told, going to go get dressed and then knocking on Janus’s office door once he was done. “Uh.. Jan?” 

The door opened up, Janus looking disgruntled, but he just nodded toward the door and started walking again, the stagehand quickly following behind him. Roman was confused, but he kept up easily, following the costumer out the sidedoor and down the block to a nearby restaurant. It was a standard chain restaurant - not really expensive, but not especially inexpensive either. They just walked right in, Janus leading him past the host stand and to the bar area, settling down in a barstool and all but clenching the edge of the bar with his hands with all his strength. 

The stagehand was no closer to knowing what was going on, but he sat down beside him, looking over at him curiously. The bartender came around, Janus speaking up for the first time since they started this little adventure to order his drink, and Roman just kind of shrugged and ordered something for himself as well. 

Janus finally turned and looked up at him, searching that kind, sweet, _attractive_ , confused face of his... He was clearly waiting for him to say something, but Janus was having trouble coming up with what he actually should say. There were so many things he wanted to say.. And most of them weren’t not directed at the gentle person before him. 

It took a minute or so, Janus actually hearing the bartender set their glasses down in front of them, but neither of them turned to look just yet. “... Do they.. Do they always treat you that way?” He finally asked, watching as Roman’s eyes went wide. 

“Wha- What do you mean?” He managed.

“Ro, I heard some of the things they said to you. They’re.. Cruel to you.” Janus said, softening as he looked over him.

They were quiet for a few moments, Roman avoiding answering the question immediately by getting a sip of his drink and then placing it down infront of him. “I.. I didn’t realize you... Heard any of that. You, uh.. I thought you liked them.” 

Janus couldn’t hold in a snort. “Ro, I called them irritating and up themselves and basically said that they weren’t worth my time. Right to their faces.” 

Roman let out a surprised exhale, his lips curling up just a bit. “ _Did you really?_ ” 

“You’re damn right I did.” Janus smirked, but it wasn’t long before he softened once again. While a large part of him was mad that he hadn’t chased after them with a crowbar, the rest of him knew that Roman clearly needed someone. He was realizing.. He really cared about him. But he also had honestly no idea what he was supposed to do now that they’d gotten to this point. “...Do you.. Want to talk about it? Just.. How they’ve always been? How.. Things have been for you?” 

He sighed a bit, turning back toward the bar and swirling his drink a little, watching the ice clink against the glass. Janus didn’t want to pressure him, Roman had no reason to talk to him if he didn’t want too. “...Actually, I did want to verify something.” Janus piped up, bringing the taller man’s eyes back to him, him raising an eyebrow questioningly. “...Did you say your sister’s name was _Sicily_? Like.. _Rome_ and _Sicily_?” He said, amusement breaking his tone as he looked up at him. 

Thankfully, Roman actually let out a little breath of a laugh. “Yeaaah... I’ve joked a couple times that that’s why they picked me.” He said, smiling softly. 

Janus raised an eyebrow. “..why they picked you?” 

“Oh, yeah. I’m adopted. But I’ve been with my family since I was three.” Roman explained. 

“Oh. Sorry, I.. I am not trying to pry, Ro. I..” Janus sighed and picked up his own drink for a sip. “...I just.. Uh.. I’m here for you. If you wanted to talk. Or not. Just.. I, uh.. I care about you.. and stuff...” he said, his voice lowering to a mumble at the end, looking at his drink. 

The stagehand looked surprised, eyes traveling over the costumer for a few moments before he softly opened his mouth again. “...Things.. Things were good, at first. I, uh.. It didn’t really start to.. Kind of get uncomfortable until I was in high school.” 

Janus turned to look at him, wanting Roman to know that he had his undivided attention. 

“...I think I was.. Around fifteen or so? I just.. I messed up everything and I always broke things.. They’d get mad at me and.. Started saying things like that, more and more.” 

“What do you mean by ‘ _messing up?_ ’” Janus asked, keeping his voice and face soft. 

“I was.. I was really clumsy. I would trip a lot, or knock things over all the time when I reached for them, or hit things with my head. And.. I always ripped my clothes. They’d break at the seems or get holes in them... They just always would break or I’d.. I just kept growing out of everything. I.. Mom had to take me to get new clothes all the time, and Sicily would get upset because I was getting new things and it wasn’t fair to her.. So Mom would get mad at me that she also had to get things for her all the time and.. I just cost them a lot and.. I should have been more careful and not messed up all the time and..” Roman trailed off, wilting more as he went on. 

That fire was back to burning brightly inside of Janus, but he needed to keep calm. This wasn’t about how angry he was.. This was about being supportive. Of course that didn’t mean he was going to do a great job.. Or that he was capable of keeping his commentary to himself. “...So, what you’re basically telling me is that you’ve been being punished and insulted for seven years now by the people who are supposed to care about you the most... Because you’re built like football and not ballet?” 

That comment definitely surprised Roman, his eyes snapping up to Janus’s immediately, expression confused. “...What?” 

“Ro.. If it’s alright with you, can I repeat that all back to you? Just.. What I understood from everything you just told me?” Janus asked, sitting up straight and looking back at him.

“..Uh, yeah? Sure?” 

“So. Your parents adopted you - honestly, probably, actually because you have that name and it matched the kid they already had. I assume she’s older than you? And.. What’s your last name?” Janus began, pausing for his speculation. 

“Uh, yeah, she is. And it’s D’Angelo.” He responded. 

“ _Oh yeah_ , they definitely got you to add to their little set. Two parents, a girl, a boy. So, they adopted you and things were fine while you were still small. Early high school you started to outgrow them and then you didn’t fit into their perfect little cookie cutter box that they wanted you to fit in alongside them, so they started making you feel bad about yourself for being different from them. They’d buy you cheap clothes for you to grow out of, while your sister probably got way more expensive things because she’s a spoiled brat who’d throw a fit otherwise. Then, because you were a teenager who was growing - _like teenagers do_ , you had trouble keeping your limbs perfectly coordinated as they kept getting longer. They then continually made sure that you weren’t confident in yourself and your body, just to get the satisfaction of getting back at you for turning out hot while they’re a bunch of shitty little mole people.”

Roman blinked, taking all of that in, trying to process.. He definitely also blushed a little, but he ignored that for now. “....Uh.. I mean.. S-sorta, but I s-”

“No buts, Ro. You haven’t done anything wrong, the things they say to you aren’t true. It’s just them trying to drag you down. You don’t deserve any of that. ...You’re a good guy, you’re kind and helpful and you’d do anything for anyone, and there’s _nothing_ wrong with the way you look. I know that this isn’t gonna just sink in right now, you don’t have to try and force yourself to agree or to believe it right now. But.. Maybe try? To just.. Think on all of that?” Janus said, looking up at him. At some point he’d taken Roman’s hands into his own while he was encouraging him, not even realizing he’d done it. 

Roman was looking back at him, his face so soft, his hands very slowly holding Janus’s back. “I... I promise I’ll try.” He said, voice almost too soft to hear. 

He smiled warmly. “Thank you.” 

The two of them took a moment to realize that they were now fondly and emotionally staring at one another, holding tight to each other’s hands. They separated somewhat awkwardly with a couple laughs, quickly looking in opposite directions to hide blushing cheeks. 

Both of them took another sip of their drinks, letting a few more moments pass as they tried to figure what to say after all that. Janus took it upon himself to break the silence, him letting out a little sigh. “Well... How about we finish these up and head out? ...Unless you want to stay for one more and maybe a plate of mozzarella sticks, my treat.” 

The stagehand let out a soft breath of laughter, giving Janus a thankful smile. “...I could probably go for a couple mozzarella sticks.” 

They did their best to just have a nice time there from that point on, ordering their late night snack and their drinks and have a fairly normal conversation. Janus was still entertaining a lot of very detailed ideas for what he wanted to say and do to those awful people, but right now.. Roman really needed someone in his corner. A friend to have his back and be supportive. And that was more important. ...So those ideas would have to go on the back burner, he’d come back to them later. 


	4. Chapter 4

From that point onward, Janus did everything in his power to.. Well, just be Roman’s friend. It wasn’t actually something that was at all difficult to do, he was a good guy. He was sweet and could definitely be funny and... Saying he was easy on the eyes was the understatement of a lifetime. But that wasn’t important right now.

What was most important was just to make sure Roman knew that people cared about him, that he was a good person and friend, and that they wanted him around. It was simple enough, it wasn’t like anyone he worked with had ever not been good to him to begin with, but they still added in a few little extra things here and there. Thanking him more sincerely, paying him little compliments, giving encouraging little pats to the shoulder or the back... As time went on, they really started to realize they’d never seen Roman seem so comfortable and just.. Happy. 

Janus also noticed, well - Virgil had certainly pointed it out to him at least, that Roman had started to spend more time near the costume department. If the costumer ever needed anything, he was nearly always right there to offer to help. He’d lift and move heavy boxes or large bolts of fabric, he’d fetch people when Janus needed them for a fitting or their input on a costume... He’d even learned a little bit about sewing just from popping in and watching what Janus was up to. 

It was on one of those days, Roman having been hovering around the costumer’s office until he’d been called away by another stagehand to do a few things, that Virgil came and leaned in the doorway, smirking at Janus. 

He glanced up, verifying who was there, before looking back down to what he was working on. “I don’t recall ordering an emo mannequin, but I suppose I can find _some_ use for one.”

Virgil just rolled his eyes. “...I bet you could, seeing as what you usually are focused on is lot bigger than the average person.”

That earned him a sharp glance, Janus huffing in response. “What do you want?” 

“Just came to ask if your boy was free for something, you usually have him, afterall.”

“He’s not my boy, he just.. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. He’s not here.” Janus said, looking back down to his project and not acknowledging how his cheeks were darkening. 

“Well, if you can manage to survive without him when he comes back, would you let him know lighting lost the step stool again?” Virgil explained, moving to stand up straight and no longer lean against the doorframe. 

Janus huffed again, mumbling about how he didn’t need his help _all_ the time, he could do things on his own.. But Virgil had already walked off. The costumer was annoyed, but only because his work friend.. _Coworker_ , had embarrassed him a bit.. It wasn’t like him and Roman were a _thing_ , they were friends. Good friends. Who worked together. And they only worked together sometimes! It wasn’t like Roman was in his department or anything.. He could handle his own department. In fact, he was going to go get some of that excess fabric from the backstage right now! 

It was that line of thinking that found him balancing on one foot on the arm of a couch, stubbornly trying to pull down a box with his fingertips. He almost had it, he was sure he did. With one more attempt at a big stretch upward, trying to get that last little bit of distance... He felt what was underneath him begin to move. The couch was slipping out from under him, moving in one direction as he began to tip in the other. 

_Oh_ , he was about to hit his entire body right on the ground, wasn’t he? He shut his eyes tight. He was going to hit the floor, get up as quickly as he could, casually go get some ice from the crew fridge, then... He’d have to fill out an incident report, Logan was going to have a field day with him. 

“ _Oof_.” He made a sound as he felt some of the wind get knocked out of him, his chest having come into contact with something very solid. Solid.. Moving.. Warm.. Wrapped around him.. Oh god.

“Are you okay, Jan?” Came that voice, of course. 

The costumer opened his eyes, realizing that Roman had managed to get between him and the ground, catching him chest to chest. His cheeks were immediately bright red, him mumbling as Roman began to set him down. 

“.. _’m fine.. thank you_..” He mumbled, looking down at his feet as his cheeks burned. “...The hell is up with that couch though?” He suddenly said, looking up at Roman. 

“Huh? The couch?” He turned, looking at the somewhat displaced piece of furniture.

“Yeah! It just slid out from under me out of no where!” He huffed, verbally taking his embarrassment out on an inanimate object. 

“...Jan.. It’s a prop couch.” Roman said, softly raising an eyebrow. 

“The hell is a prop couch? It should still function as a couch, shouldn’t it?”

“Yeah... But, uh.. It’s on wheels.” The stagehand explained, moving to grab the back of the couch and easily slide it back and forth a little. 

“...Oh.” He said quietly, crossing his arms and looking away until he heard another sound.. Roman softly laughing. He snapped his gaze to the tall man before him, clearly pouting. “What?” 

He held his hands up in an innocent, surrender type gesture, but he was still chuckling a little. “Nothing, nothing.. Sorry.” He brought a hand to his lips to cover his mouth a bit. “...That was just really cute.” 

If Janus hadn’t been red before, he certainly was now. He nearly stamped a foot in defiance of the comment, but as he looked up at the large man before him, he was very aware that that would not help his case in the slightest. In an attempt to regain some amount of composure, he brushed his hands down his outfit to straighten things back out and brush off the imaginary dust. After clearing his throat and still not looking up at his savior, he mumbled once again. “...Virgil was looking for you.. Lighting lost the step stool.”

“Oh, again? Alright, I’ll head over there.” Roman gave him a smile, turning and making his way to Virgil’s department as Janus fled back into his office to _not_ reevaluate every decision he’d ever made in his entire life. 

The department head turned as he approached, waving Roman over. “There you are. We just need some helping changing out the gels.” 

“Alright, I can do that. Oh, actually, have you seen Logan around?” Roman asked. 

“No, but I’m pretty sure if you say his name three times he’ll just appear and tell you your pants aren’t black enough and that your shoes are too squeaky. But why, is there something urgent?” Virgil joked, smirking slightly. 

The stagehand let out a breath of laughter. “Not _too_ pressing, but the brakes on the prop couch aren’t working again.” 

“Oh lord, what happened this time?”

“Nothing, nothing. Jan was just standing on the arm and almost slipped off and fell.” Roman explained.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Almost?” 

“I caught him, he’s just fine. Luckily I was walking back when it started to roll and he started to tip.” 

Virgil’s eyes widened, processing. “...I have told him so many times that gays and heights don’t mix, but does he listen? No, of course he doesn’t. He’s the _only one_ exempt from the laws of gravity.” He sighed. “You go get the lights changed, I’ll go make sure he didn’t scramble his brain in the fall.” A smirk quickly grew on his lips. “Or, more accurately, make sure _you_ didn’t.”

Roman tilted his head to the side in confusion. “...But I caught him?” 

He just gave Roman a soft pat on the shoulder, turning to head in the direction the stagehand had just come from. “ _Exactly_.” 

He watched Virgil walk away, wracking his mind for what that could mean. Roman stood there, thinking, for at least three or four minutes before he suddenly blushed, it all clicking in his mind at once. 

.... _OH_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- the chapter in which we find out why this fic is so self indulgent, and what I’m referencing of mine by writing it :D

Of course things didn’t exactly get easier at that point, and while both of them were very aware that Virgil knew what they were dealing with... Neither knew that the other was on the exact same page. This, of course, led to a number of interesting situations.

And the majority of them, Virgil was there for. 

“Alright, I can’t handle this anymore. You literally have to do something about this or I am going to keel over.” Virgil said with exasperation, appearing in Janus’s doorway.

The costumer didn’t look up from his project. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it only sounds like a win for me.”

He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. “You do know what I’m talking about. You and Roman, this ridiculous pining bullshit.” 

“...I have no idea at all of what you think you’ve been seeing.” 

“You have had trouble looking him in the eye ever since he caught you.” Virgil began, hitting one pointer finger onto the other to begin listing things off. 

“Well I don’t look you in the eye either, I’m busy. Working.” He rebuffed.

Virgil tapped his finger onto his pointer and middle finger this time, indicating this was list item number two. “You both start stammering and awkwardly make up reasons to leave situations when you run into each other by surprise.”

“...that just sounds like an exaggeration.” 

He added his ring finger. “I brought up it being Pride month and you both _fled_. Just.. Fled.”

Janus finally put his sewing project down, turning to actually look to Virgil. “Look, what do you want from me? What are you getting at?” 

“Get your shit together so I can stop watching you two disaster around each other! I’m about to start a betting pool.” Virgil gestured dramatically as he spoke. 

The costumer huffed, vehemently ignoring his growing blush. “...Okay, even if what you were saying was true.. I would have _ample_ opportunities to actually do anything, the work place is the _perfect_ place for something like this.” 

“Oh my god, just ask him to hang out outside of work. It’s not a complex concept.” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Janus looked back to his project, flippantly waving to shoo Virgil away. “Yes, yes, extremely complex. Now.. Don’t you have work to be doing? Some of us are busy.” 

Virgil just turned and went to leave, calling over his shoulder as he left. “I’m starting the betting pool on Monday.” 

Once he was gone, all Janus could do was plop his face into his hands, huffing to himself. He just needed to come up with.. Something. 

It was getting to the end of the day when Janus finally came up with an idea, something that could be for friends, something that could be for more than friends.. They’d just have to see how it played out.

He cleaned up his desk and then went to go find Roman, thankfully he was never very far or at all difficult to spot.

“...Hey Ro?” He called out, watching as the tall stagehand turned around to face him. 

“Uh.. Oh, hey Jan! What’s up?” He asked, not awkwardly or blushing even a little bit.

“Umm.. So, I was just thinking, uh.. I just moved out here and I’ve heard the big Pride event downtown is really cool. And I was thinking about going on Saturday... I was wondering if you might want to come with me?” Janus asked, all of the muscles in his body tensing to prepare to throw him directly out the window.

Roman made a bit of a face. “Uhh.. Well, I’d love to, but..” Janus subconsciously located the nearest window. “I actually am busy on Saturday, I had a few appointments I was putting off so I kinda threw them all into one day, I have the dentist in the morning and a yearly physical with my doctor in the afternoon..” The costumer nodded, trying to come up with something to say that didn’t make him sound too crushed. But Roman continued. “..But if you wanted to meet up after all that? We could grab dinner or a drink or.. I’m also free on Sunday?” He offered.

That perked him right back up. Not outwardly, of course. That would have been embarrassing and he’d never done an embarrassing thing in his entire life. “Oh, yeah. That sounds great. Do you want to just text me when you’re free and we’ll figure it out?” Janus offered, pulling out his phone.

Roman nodded with a big smile, pulling his phone out as well and commencing to exchange numbers with him. “Awesome, uh.. I’ll see you later then. Um.. I’m looking forward to it.” 

Janus nodded. “Me too, I’ll.. See you later.” 

It didn’t go as perfectly as he’d planned, but.. He’d still get to spend some time with him, he could definitely work with that. For now.. Well, why not go check out Pride? It was something to do afterall. 

The next day he found himself walking around and looking at everything, especially the outfits. While the bright colors weren’t exactly his style, seeing them at Pride was still one of the best parts. He did have a few rainbow pieces, the binding of his hat, a pin, some suspenders.. It was more than enough for him, but it had nothing on the extravagance he saw around him. The tutus, flag capes, body paint, funny shirts.. He loved getting inspiration and designing these kinds of outfits, it just wasn’t something he liked to wear himself.

His eyes tended catch on specific people, generally because of an interesting accessory, or an especially unique outfit. 

There was one particular person, however, he couldn’t help but stare at and it had nothing to do with what he had on - even though what he did have on, was not much. He saw him out of the corner of his eye, and had to do a double take. 

His immediate thought had been that he’d just spotted Roman, but on second look... There was just no way that could be him. He was wearing a nearly sheer crop top and short shorts that barely reached his legs. Not that he thought the stagehand couldn’t pull off that particular look, but they had only recently gotten him back to comfortable enough to start wearing flannels again instead of that hoodie. But.. The longer he looked, the more he was confused. 

His skin tone, hair color, eye shape, jawline... They were just the same. But.. No, it definitely wasn’t him, Roman was built like a triangle with legs, and this not-Roman’s frame was noticeably more slender in the chest and shoulders. He was definitely just about tall enough though... And he had the same trim waist... But he also- 

“Sweetness, I can’t tell if you’re staring because you like the view or if I have something on my face.” The nearly familiar, only slightly too high, voice brought him out of his thoughts, as he realized the man in question was suddenly right in front of him. 

He blinked, searching his expression, contemplating that familiar looking face now that it was so much closer to him. “...I have a bit of a weird question for you.” 

The rather fabulous man before him gestured, letting his elbow come to rest on his hip as he flipped his hand around dramatically. “Oh I _live_ for weird questions, lay it on me.” 

“You just look so much like... Do you have a brother or cousin or something?” Janus asked, still trying to convince himself if he was seeing what he thought he was seeing.

He let out a breathy laugh.“If I had a nickel for every time.. Gurl, I have four brothers, you’re going to need to narrow it down.” 

“...I know someone who looks just like you... But he doesn’t have any brothers, he has a sister.” 

“Must be a coinky dink, ‘cause there’s no girls in my family. Not even cousins. Just a bunch of strapping lads.” He laughed, still playful. 

Janus mulled the information over, mumbling to himself more than anything. “...well, I guess he actually wouldn’t know if he had brothers, would he? He was adopted like twenty years ago...” 

Suddenly his eyes widened, all of the playfulness and drama gone and replace with grave seriousness. “ _Wait_. Wait wait wait. Are you talking about _Roman_? You _found_ Roman?” 

“ _Found him?_ The hell does that mean?” Janus took a slight step back. “...What’re you, a cop?” 

A bit of the drama slipped back into his face, him saying nothing as he simply gestured to his exceptional homosexuality. 

You really couldn’t argue with those rainbow short shorts. “...I work with him.” 

He immediately had a phone in his hand, Janus had no idea where he’d produced it from and he frankly had no plans to ask, but it was only a couple moments of him tapping the screen before he turned it so Janus could see. “He’s one of these, right? Like.. He looks like this?” 

He reached out and took the phone, looking at the people in the picture. ...It was four almost-Romans standing around a smiling woman. If the man in front of him was a thinner, shorter Roman, the other three in the picture were two completely ripped Roman’s, and one tall, thin Roman with glasses. “...Holy crap. Uh, yeah. Definitely.” 

“...Can I give you my number and you could get it to him? We’ve been trying to find him for ever, we.. I need to talk to him, I.. I need to see him.” He said, the sincerity and softness in his face was undeniable.

“Yeah, uh... I can, I can do that.” Janus nodded, giving the man before him his name and number, and pulling out his own phone when it vibrated, signaling he’d texted him to give him his number in return. He paused on the screen, what he’d sent over was that picture of the family of the near-Roman’s. He was somewhat in shock, not having any idea how to process what it was had just happened. Janus glanced up again after a few moments, looking back at the man before him. 

“...Thank you, uh.. I’m sure he won’t remember, but uh.. My name’s Ronnie. Just uh, tell him we miss him, okay?” He said, his voice a bit watery.

“..Of course. I’ll... We’ll be in touch.” Janus nodded.

Before he knew it, Ronnie had pulled him into a quick tight hug, it having ended nearly as quickly as it began. “...Thank you.” 

After he’d walked away, seeming to need to go compose himself, Janus found himself still standing there, staring at the image in his phone when it vibrated in his hand.

“Hey Jan, I’m home from errands, did you still want to hang out tonight?” 

It took him a minute or two to will his thumbs to type a response. “Yeah, of course. I’ll meet you at that restaurant by work?” 

“Cool, I’ll be there in 15.” 

“See you soon.”


	6. Chapter 6

Janus arrived to the restaurant first, which gave him just that much more precious precious time to fret about what in the hell he was going to say. There was absolutely no protocol for this, this was... Completely insane, to put it plainly. He made his way to the bar, ordered a double, and sipped on it while he tried to calm his racing thoughts. 

“Oh hey, Jan.” Came that familiar, perfect voice. 

He turned, watching as Roman sat beside him, he was a bit pink himself, his smile precious and a little nervous. ...Right, this was a pseudo date, that was.. That was why.. He had to.. 

“Hey Ro.” He gave him a little smile in return. “...How did errands go?” 

“Pretty good, it was pretty much just check ups, nothing major.” Roman shrugged. “How was Pride?” 

“....good. I..” Janus couldn’t put this off, it was going to tear him in half. “It was... Eventful, I guess is the most _honest_ way to put it. Um.. May I ask you something.. Fairly invasive?” He asked, looking up into those warm kind eyes. 

He seemed a bit surprised but just gave him a slow nod. “Uh, sure?” 

“...do you know anything about, uh.. Like, your birth parents? Your biological family?”

Roman blinked, processing... Clearly that question had come right out of left field for him. “...uh, no, not really. I always kind of figured my parents would tell me something about them, if they knew anything, but they never really did. Never...” He faltered a bit. “..Never anything that was... Substantial, anyway. ...May I ask why?” 

Janus just kept looking up at him, eyes frantically searching his. At least he’d verified he wasn’t about to led someone Roman was hiding from right to him. That was one load off. Now.. He just had to do it. Rip the bandaid off. “...I met someone at Pride today, uh.. I got to talking to him and um.. Here. Just.. Just look at this.” He said, pulling out his phone and opening it to the picture, sliding it over to his companion. 

The stagehand was still thoroughly confused, but he picked up the phone and looked at the picture, Janus watching intently as Roman’s eyes blew wide. He stared, bringing the phone closer to his face as if to really verify what he was seeing. It felt like an eternity before he looked back to Janus, his expression soft and vulnerable, a silent question on his face.

“I... He caught me staring at him, I.. I almost thought he was you. He.. He walked up to me and we talked a bit, uh.. I didn’t tell him your name, but he already knew it. He asked if I.. If I knew Roman.” Janus explained. “The one I met, uh.. He’s the smallest one in the picture. He.. His name is Ronnie. I.. Ro, I think these are your brothers. Your family.” 

Roman looked from the picture to Janus and then back again a few times before speaking up again, his voice soft. “...Jan, ..they.. they look just like.. Like me. I.. I’ve never known anyone who.. Who looks like me.” 

Janus gave him a little smile. “...he wanted me to tell you that they miss you. They.. He said they’ve been looking for you. They.. Want to see you.” 

“They.. They _want_ me? They.. _Miss_ me?” He repeated, looking back to the picture. “...Mom used to always say.. But.. They _do_ want me?” 

That fire flared back up inside of Janus, he really needed to get on figuring out where these people lived so he could wreck up their shit.. Later. 

“They do, Ro. They really do.. I have a feeling that woman there misses you especially.” He nodded, watching as Roman’s eyes focused on the center of the image, rather than traveling over all the boys around the sides. 

“....What.. What should I do?” He asked, looking up to the costumer as though he was the voice of reason.

Janus blinked, looking back at him for a moment before answering. “Do.. Do you want to meet them? Or to get in contact with them at all?” 

“...I.. I think so. I.. I want to know what they’re like. To.. To find out why.. How they lost me.” He said slowly, still looking to Janus as though he would tell him what was okay to do.

He just nodded. “...Do you.. Want to start with just Ronnie? Or do you want to go full reunion right off the bat?” 

“I think.. Just one to start. They seem..” Roman let out a little exhale of laughter, breathing out some of his tension. “..They seem like a lot.” 

Janus matched his small laugh. “Oh I don’t doubt it. I met the smallest of them and he was still way bigger than I am.” 

The costumer smirked softly. “Yeah but.. Jan, you’re pretty little.” 

“I am not! I’m average height!” He suddenly pouted. 

Roman smiled wider. “...Does your height start with five?” 

“Yeah, but it-”

“Little.” 

Janus crossed his arms over his chest, him pouting in a way he knew wouldn’t help his case.. But Roman was smiling. That was most important. They sat quietly for a little bit, but the silence between them was comfortable. They were both considering and thinking over the information that was still hanging in the air. 

It was a few minutes before Roman piped up again, his embarrassment obvious in his voice. “Would... Would it be weird or.. Or even if its not weird and you didn’t want to, that’s.. Whatever you think is the right thing, I don’t want you to feel pressured or..” 

The costumer cut off his nervous rambling by reaching over and taking his hand. “What is it, Ro?” 

Fresh blush bloomed in his cheeks as he looked down at their hands but he slowly managed to get the question out. “...Would you.. Come with me? To.. To meet them?” 

Apparently blushing was contagious, but that was another thing that just wasn’t important right now. He was much more stuck on the fact that Roman trusted him and was comfortable enough with him to ask him to.. “Of course. If.. If that’s what you want.” 

Roman’s hand immediately tightened around Janus’s, now actually holding his in return. “Yes. Uh.. Please. If that’s.. Yeah.”

“Then I’ll be there. No matter what.” He assured him. 

“..Thank you, Jan. That.. That means a lot.” 

They sat there together for a good while, it not occurring to them for a decent bit to actually text Ronnie and make the plan to meet up. Of course he was eager to, and in the spirit of Janus’s ‘rip the bandaid off’ mentality, they decided to meet him for lunch the following day. 

This, of course, led to what felt like both the slowest and fastest several hours of Roman’s life, the stress and nervousness mixed with curiosity and excitement.. Thankfully he had Janus, the costumer had been talking to him through text and helping him stay calm from basically as soon as they left one another’s company at the restaurant that night all the way until they were both walking up to the café where they were going to meet Ronnie.

One more little pep talk and a soft pat on the back of the shoulder later, they were walking inside and ready to have this.. Probably fairly strange moment.

Their eyes almost immediately landed on Ronnie, sitting at a table alone, facing the door. He seemed equally shocked, as he and Roman were full on staring at one another as they approached. Once they made it to the table he stood, looking up slightly into his brother’s eyes and doing his best to keep composed. 

“... _Roman_.” Ronnie breathed, softly lifting a hand toward him but stopping short of actually touching him. “C-can I?” He asked softly. Roman had barely nodded before Ronnie was hugging him as tightly as he could, it taking a moment for Roman to actually lift his arms and hug him in return, but once he had they stayed there for a good few moments. Ronnie pulled away after a bit, laughing away a cough and playing off a little wipe to his eyes. “..Sorry, didn’t mean to get all.. Feelingsy on you, I just uh.. It’s so amazing to see you, I.. uh.. Let’s sit down and talk.”

They settled at the table, no one really knowing how to begin this conversation. 

Ronnie took it upon himself to do so, he was clearly the most extroverted around here. “...So, you two work together? What do you do? And like.. How have you been this whole time? What’s been.. Everything?” He asked, laughing a bit in spite of himself. 

“Uhh... We work at a theater. Janus is the costume designer and I’m a stagehand. Uh.. I’ve been.. Fine? Just uh.. I don’t know where to start, I guess. I.. Could you tell me about you guys instead? At least to start?” Roman asked, a bit embarrassed. 

“Oh, of course. Okay so.. Five brothers. Ray is the oldest, he’s a professor. He’s always been the smart one. Then the twins, Rufus and Russell, they work together at a health clinic. Meatheads, the both of them, but they know what they’re talking about. Then me, I work at a coffee shop but mostly I go out and am seen.” He said with a little smirk, pulling a soft laugh from Roman. “And.. You’re the youngest. Uh.. Mom, Rosemary or just Rose.. Or, you know, Mom. She’s a nurse. We don’t live super far apart, and we try and meet up on all the big days of the year, it’s not always easy to get everyone in one place spontaneously, but we make sure to do holidays and birthdays. So, I guess we’re pretty close?” He shrugged. 

Roman nodded slowly, taking a moment to steel his nerves and ask the one thing he really wanted to know. “...Then.. What happened with me? Why aren’t I... Why wasn’t I with you?” 

Ronnie gave him a strange and apologetic smile, sucking in a pained breath through clenched teeth. “Umm.. Okay so.. When you were... Two? I think? Uh, we lost our Father in a car accident. His parents were always kind of.. I guess really harsh? They very much wanted our parents to bring us up how they wanted. So, uh.. Once he was gone, they made all these claims that Mom wasn’t fit to take care of us all, to try and get custody taken away from her. All five of us ended up in the foster system while they investigated the claims and looked into everything, and, uh.. When Mom was finally able to get us all back.. No one knew what had happened to you. They didn’t have anywhere that could take all of us at once, so we’d gotten split up and.. Somehow the paperwork got messed up and you kinda.. Fell through the cracks.” 

Roman’s eyes widened, watching Ronnie talk and taking that all in. It certainly wasn’t what he’d been expecting, that was for sure. But when he didn’t ask questions, Ronnie continued.

“Mom fought to try and find you, to get you back.. She didn’t give up. For years she was filing claims and trying to discover what happened, to make sure whoever was responsible for this answered for it... But they just never figured out what happened. You were just... _Gone_. Gone without a trace. But she never gave up. And.. And we never forgot about you, we always include your name and..” Ronnie sniffed. “We hang up your stocking at Christmas and put your birthstone in that necklace we got for mom and... We still get together on your birthday, just like any of our’s. ..I haven’t told her that I might have found you, I couldn’t.. Get her hopes up like that if it ended up not really being you or... But.. I did tell the boys. They really want to see you too.” 

Janus looked back to Roman... He’d never seen him this soft. And he felt it too. To hear how much they loved him and wanted him after what he’d grown up with... This was the start of something good. He was sure of it.


	7. Chapter 7

The brothers talked a bit more, both of them getting pretty misty in the eyes as Ronnie seemed to be able to sense how much the reassurance that they’d never forgotten him truly meant to his little brother. And it was after the retelling of a particularly heartfelt memory that Ronnie seemed to finally break under Roman’s achingly fond expression. 

He’d had to cough, unsuccessfully trying to hide how emotional he was getting about all this, and clear his throat a bit. When that didn’t buy him enough time, he tried hiding his face momentarily by getting a drink from his glass of water. Once he’d sat that down, and no longer had anything left to stall with, he gave them a watery little laugh. “...Sorry, uh.. This isn’t really my area. I’m not the best at, um.. Ray usually handles the serious, uh, _heavy_ stuff.” He gave them a little smile, clearing his throat again. “Umm, uh... Janus, why don’t you tell me a little something about yourself?” 

His eyes widened, definitely surprised that any attention was moving to him when they had so much to catch up on... But if these two needed a break, he could oblige. “...I do costume design at the theater where we work, mostly uh.. Fittings and alterations. Occasionally I will build costumes from scratch.. But it’s really just.. Whatever needs doing at that point in time.” Janus tried, just doing what he could to fill the air with some words so the other two could get a little respite. 

“He’s amazing at all of it, he even made a costume for me once. I’d never worn anything before that actually fit my shoulders _and_ my waist at the same time.” Roman added, smiling softly. 

“Oh I’m not surprised, you’re built almost exactly like Ruff and Russ. Those shoulders are both a blessing and a curse.” Ronnie laughed. 

“It was a _bit_ of a challenge.. But I did what I could.” Janus nodded, blushing just a little bit from Roman’s compliment as he softly teased him.

Ronnie had been watching these two since they’d walked in. He’d seen how Janus comforted and supported Roman, softly touching his back as they’d walked in, gentle touches to his arm while Roman was processing what he was hearing about his family, the soft glances up at him when he spoke.. And Roman always looked back at him so fondly, so softly, so sweetly.. He honestly looked at him like he was the whole world. Ronnie’s area might not have been all the serious stuff, but this was definitely much more related to his expertise. 

“...So, you told me that you two work together, but how long have you _been_ together? You’re a super cute couple, by the way.” He said casually, watching them as he playfully fussed with his straw in his glass.

The reaction was immediate, both of them turning red and stammering, glancing from Ronnie to each other and back again. Janus had been getting a sip of water and had very nearly done a full on spit take. 

He watched them for another moment, letting out a soft laugh. “It’s okay, you two don’t have to be embarrassed! I mean, Janus told you I ran into him at Pride, didn’t he? It’s not like I wouldn’t support you! Don’t worry about it!” Ronnie reassured him, reaching over and giving him a soft pat to the arm.

The genuine vote of support actually caught Roman off for a second, him looking thankfully back to his older brother for a good moment before the actual topic at hand caught back up with him. “...w-wait, it’s uh... It’s not that. It’s uh.. We’re.. We’re not together.” Roman stammered, face still red. 

Ronnie just raised an eyebrow, looking back at him incredulously. He studied Roman for a long moment before turning to Janus, as though the costumer would admit his boyfriend was just being shy. 

But Janus did no such thing. With pink cheeks, he slowly shook his head. “He.. He means it. We’re.. Not.” 

The oldest one present ran his eyes over the two of them a few times, back and forth, only making them blush even more. After an agonizing several seconds of this, he pulled his phone out and began to type. “...Alright you two, you both open for next Saturday?” 

They blinked, both slowly and silently nodding. 

“Good. I’ll set it up with the boys and text you two the info, kay?” He said, not looking up.

The two of them glanced at one another and back to Ronnie, both slowly agreeing with the plan. 

“Perf. So, I’m looking forward to it. I’ll see you cuties next Saturday.” He finally looked up, slipping his phone in his pocket. “I’m hoping to hear about _all_ the developments.” 

Before they could even manage to start stuttering out another attempt at a response, Ronnie had leaned in and gotten another hug from his little brother, and teased Janus with a playful finger drag from under his ear all the way to his chin. By the time the costumer had rebooted enough to focus on him once again, he was about to step out of view, giving them a wave with wiggling fingers. “Toodles, sweeties! See you next week!” He called, stepping out the door and leaving the two of them gaping for air like a fish flopping on a deck.

They sat there quietly for a moment, neither knowing what exactly to say after that little.. Event. Slowly, Roman turned to Janus, his cheeks still pink and his gaze not exactly lining up with his. “Umm... Do you.. Wanna go hang out some more? Uh.. We could.. Watch a movie at my place or something?”

He nodded, moving to stand, smiling back at him shyly. “...I’d like that.” 

Roman smiled wider, joining him so they could start walking out of the café and down the sidewalk together. It took them a while to start attempting some sort of their usual brand of normalcy, both still reeling from Ronnie’s.. General way of being. 

“...Ok, I need you to slow down.” Janus finally griped, breaking the silence.

Roman paused, looking down at him. “Huh?” 

“When you get lost in thought you start walking faster. Your strides are a mile long and I’m _sprinting_ over here.” Janus said, a slight pout on his lips. 

The taller one slowly smiled, a gentle smirk forming on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t realize. ...This is just another point proving that you’re little, you know.”

“I’m not little!” 

“Mm... You sort’ve are though, Jan.” He teased, smiling a bit wider. 

Janus made a rather indignant little “ _Hmph_.” They continued to walk for a bit before he decided he was just gonna go for it. He reached out, slipping his hand into Roman’s and holding on tight. 

Roman quickly blushed, looking down for an explanation. 

“...So you.. Don’t leave me behind.” Janus mumbled, blushing and looking down away from his gaze. 

The stagehand slowly smiled, moving to lace their fingers together. “...Never. I promise.” 

“..I’ll hold you to that, you know.” 

“I hope you do.” 


	8. Chapter 8

Roman and Janus made it back to the apartment in a fairly short time, even though they did walk considerably slower once they’d found themselves holding hands. Janus was also pretty sure that he’d gotten a very basic tour of the place, and that they’d put a movie on once they finally did settle on the couch... But all he could really think about was how neither of them had even almost attempted to let the other one go.

During the course of the movie, the title and content of which Janus had payed nearly zero attention to - He was pretty sure it was about a bear? Paddington Bear? Or maybe Brave? Or.. The Revenant? Whatever. All he’d been focusing on was sitting on Roman’s couch, holding his hand, the words they’d exchanged outside on the sidewalk.. And the fact that he’d been slowly scooting closer to the larger man. 

Roman actually was the one who finally let go of Janus’s hand, but it was only so he could wrap that arm around his shoulders instead, pulling the costumer the rest of way in against him - though that wasn’t far, the gap between them had already been very small. He nestled himself against him, smiling as Roman pulled him in tighter. 

Janus might not have ever found out if Leonardo DeCaprio defeated Paddington with his bow and arrow or whatever, but he did confirm one much more important thing. Roman was definitely on the same page as he was as far as what they wanted was concerned. And by the time he left the apartment later that evening, things were finally, actually, fully official. 

Virgil took the news well, even if he hadn’t been expecting that Janus would really do something over the course of the weekend. He’d walked up to the costumer’s office on the following day, leaning in the doorway as usual. “Hey, where’d your boyfriend get off to? We need his help in sound.” 

“Logan took him.” Janus responded, not looking up. 

Virgil clearly had been expecting a comment, a reaction.. At least a hint of a facial expression. But the lack of anything at all threw him completely. “...What?” 

“Roman was tidying up backstage, singing to himself a bit. Logan was walking by, heard him, paused a moment, and then dragged Roman off to go talk to Cindy.” Janus explained.

“...Cindy the casting director?” He raised an eyebrow.

“She would be the only Cindy who works here, yes.” 

“.....Wait wait wait. So you _actually_ did do it?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I didn’t refute what you said, did I?” He answered, finally turning to look at him with a smirk on his face.

The emo crossed his arms, looking back at him with only the smallest indication that he was impressed present on his features. “Well damn, look at you go. Alright, alright.. But what does Logan want with Roman and Cindy?” 

“I have to assume he believes that there is a use for his talent.” Janus shrugged, looking back to his project. 

“Huh. I guess I’ll track him down later. Would you tell your boy when you see him?” Virgil asked, turning to go. 

The costumer smiled to himself. “Of course.” 

It turned out that Logan had apparently been wanting to find a bass voice to help round out the chorus for the upcoming musical, and the large stagehand’s low tones were just what he was looking for. The current play still had a bit more time in its run, but no one was shocked to find that their stage manager was already planning the next project. 

“ _Surprised_ ” didn’t even begin to touch the shock that Roman experienced when Logan had explained his idea to him and the casting director. Singing was something he only did when he was alone.. Or apparently when he was in an extremely good mood and wasn’t paying that much attention. He was still in disbelief when he was telling Janus that he’d actually be auditioning for the next show, but he received nothing but praise and encouragement. 

It was a good start to the week, and even though Roman had another big weekend ahead of him, he just couldn’t find it in himself to be stressed. He’d just never been this.. Happy. There was also the added reassurance that there was no way his other three brothers could compete with the force of nature that was Ronnie, even combined. So what did he have to worry about? 

He still had that moment of hesitation just before the actual meeting on Saturday... But Janus was right by his side, he had his support and encouragement... Things were going to be perfectly fine. 

Roman had been correct that the meeting with all four of them was a lot less eventful than the meeting with just Ronnie, but it was still completely mind-blowing. He didn’t have as much to learn about the family in general this time, and they didn’t have to have so many emotional outbursts, but it had a completely different feeling than anything he’d ever experienced before. 

Ronnie had told him he was the youngest, but that hadn’t truly set in until he met the other three. Ray just had the air of someone professional, like someone who knew a lot of things and could confidently convey them.. But there was a softness there, like Roman could immediately tell that he would be a safe person to speak with or ask questions to and get judgment free responses. It was also the first time since he was about sixteen years old that he’d ever met someone taller than him. 

He had a similar experience with the twins, as Roman was used to taking up the most space in general. With his height and his broad frame, there was just nothing he could do about the presence he had when he was absolutely anywhere. But these two were just... They were on another level. They were a bit shorter than him, but they were built like he was, just with what was clearly daily workouts on top of that. They were just.. Huge. 

Rufus and Russell were clearly the quieter ones in this family, not that that was hard to accomplish when you had the extremely confident Ronnie and intelligent professor Ray, but they clearly filled the role of being protectors. They were quiet and strong, and they gave Roman the immediate feeling that they were there for him. They just... They felt like what big brothers were supposed to be like. It almost felt like a family he’d seen on television. Safe and sweet and.. He never knew this could really feel like this.

Ronnie had also been sure to ask them again about how their relationship was going, and he was more than proud of how they’d managed to actually get together after the clear tension they’d had the first time he saw them.

The meetup was great, it was clear they were all still in some amount of shock that Roman had actually been found, and Ray had explained that their mom’s birthday was actually in July, so he was going to see if he could work it out where he could be a bit of a surprise gift. For whatever reason, Roman was definitely more nervous about meeting his actual biological mother.. But he knew with all of these people around him.. What they’d told him about her already.. He was sure that that would be just as amazing as these first two meetings had been. 

When Roman and Janus left, holding hands and walking down the sidewalk, the costumer looked up to him, asking him slowly and cautiously. “Just.. Something I want to put out there but.. Did you plan on telling your family about all this? Like, your adoptive family?” 

He was quiet at first, thinking over everything for a few moments before he spoke up. “...I will. I’ll figure out a way to.. But not yet.” 

Janus nodded, giving his hand a soft squeeze in support. That was sure to be.. An event.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few weeks felt like a bit of a blur. Roman and Janus were getting into a good rhythm with their new relationship, the current play concluded and the auditions began for the upcoming musical, and they’d been keeping in contact with Roman’s brothers regularly. 

Janus and Ronnie managed to get Roman to the mall, and saying that the two much more fashionable men _enjoyed_ getting to get Roman in some more flattering outfits was an understatement. He had had no idea that his clothes had been such a topic of interest, and had no problem going along on the adventure. He was definitely surprised to find how much more confident he felt in clothes that actually fit him, and before the shopping day was done, Ronnie made him promise he’d get rid of all his ridiculously oversized jeans. 

He’d also gotten especially close with the twins through texting, and Rufus and Russell eventually invited him along for their workouts. They were in the gym everyday, but Roman started going along a few times a week to spend the time with them - and ending up getting a fully planned workout routine in the process. 

That had caused a very noticeable change in Roman’s physique - noticeable to Janus at least. And while he did end up having to take his boyfriend to go get even more new clothes because of the change in his body, he didn’t try and pressure him into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. He had no doubts in his mind about the kind of outfits that Ronnie would have wanted Roman to try out with this new development.. But they costumer and stagehand hadn’t exactly told the brothers about what Roman had experienced growing up quite yet. Janus was more than proud of him for getting to a place where he was confident enough in himself to wear correctly sized jeans and an open flannel over another shirt, and if that was what he was comfortable in, then that was perfect. 

The audition went well, Roman getting a small part with only two lines he had to learn, but he also was one of the only members of the chorus who’d be getting a mic. Janus had not only realized that Roman was more well suited to theater than any of them would have ever known, but also that Logan was very aware of that fact as well. The costumer had heard some gossip through the grapevine - the one with the purplest and emo-est of grapes, that the casting director actually wanted to give Roman a much larger part but the stage manager had stepped in to say that they shouldn’t do that for the shy stagehand’s first real time on stage. 

The costumer had had no idea that Logan was that intune with Roman and his general confidence level, but Janus would have wholeheartedly agreed with him had he been there as well. But then again if Virgil seemed to always know what was going on with everyone, the stage manager being the same way wasn’t really a surprise. Maybe those two were closer friends than Janus realized? 

No matter, they had much bigger things to worry about. Time seemed to have flown by, and they were quickly coming up on Rose’s birthday. Ray had been texting with everyone about the plan, and they had worked it out so they’d have a nice little birthday party in the backyard of their mother’s home, and once they were all in the back, they’d bring Roman in as a surprise. 

It wasn’t long before Janus and Roman found themselves waiting on the other side of a wooden fence, them vaguely able to hear the rest of the family coming out into the yard and getting settled. There was some music playing, the couple giving each other some nervous glances as they awaited someone retrieving them. It was a very odd situation, Roman realizing he wanted to do something for his boyfriend as a thank you - not only was it because of him that he’d found his family, but he’d also accompanied him to all of these huge moments that would have been absolute insanity to face alone. He didn’t know how to truly thank him, but it was something he’d definitely be dedicating thought to. 

Then, they heard Ronnie’s unmistakable voice. “Alright, Mom. I know this isn't the usual order of things, but seeing as we’re all finally here-”

“You’re the one we were all waiting on.” Piped up one of the twins. 

“Hush, you. Anyway, now that we’re all finally here, I thought we could give you a little something first to kick things off.” Ronnie concluded. 

“Alright, sweetheart, if that’s what you’d like to do.” They heard a woman’s voice answer. ...His mother’s voice. That was.. His mother. 

“Yes! Now just wait right there and I will bring it to you, okay?” Ronnie exclaimed, Roman and Janus hearing him getting closer. 

There were a few laughs, and then the latch to the backyard fence opened and Ronnie waved the two of them inside. They followed after Ronnie, having to walk a short distance into the back yard so they could be visible from around the side of the house and then.. 

She was a sweet-looking slightly older lady, her hair blonde, her eyes kind.. She was sitting there at the head of the table, smiling warmly and happily as she turned to look at what Ronnie could possibly be bringing her. She seemed surprised to see two new people and stood, most likely to greet them, but then Ronnie pulled Janus a little to the side, everyone else completely silent as they watched her. 

Rose followed Ronnie with her eyes at first, but the turned to Roman who was now standing alone, nothing distracting from him. They caught gazes and it only took Rose about a millisecond before her eyes had blown wide, her hands immediately flying to her mouth as she stared at the young man before her. She was running before she even realized she was doing it, her eyes filling with water as she ran directly into him and wrapped her arms around him. 

Roman caught her, hugging her back tightly and leaning his head down to rest against her’s, trying to keep his breath from catching in his throat as it had quickly begun to stutter. 

It took him a moment to make out the words she was crying into his chest, only squeezing him tighter the longer she was there. “ _I tried so hard, I’m so sorry Roman, I’m so sorry. I wanted to find you more than anything, I did everything I could and I can’t believe you're really here, I.. I promise I really did, I promise I did absolutely everything I could, I-_ ” 

There was no way she could have any idea what hearing those words truly meant to him, how much it was everything he’d ever wanted to hear. But he also had no idea of how badly she needed to hear what it was he said in response, his voice wet and broken and only just above her ear. “...I know you did, I know how hard you tried, I.. It’s okay. It’s.. It’s okay, Mom. I’m here.” 

Everyone else around them was doing their best to keep their own composure, but those two certainly weren’t making it easy. No one could make out what they were saying to each other, but some things really didn’t need words. By the time Rose finally pulled back to look up at her youngest son, there wasn’t a dry eye in attendance. 

“...Hello, Roman.” She said softly, looking up at him with a kind smile.

Roman returned the expression, looking back at her softly and gently. “..Hello, Mom. Um.. Happy Birthday?” 

Rose laughed a bit in response, a warm watery sound, laughing a bit in spite of herself at the situation. “Thank you, sweetheart. I.. Oh, uhh..” She turned, wiping her eyes as she did, to look at Ronnie and Janus. “Hello, um.. Welcome, I’m Rosemary.” She said, another wet laugh breaking her words. 

“Hello, Ma’am. Um.. I’m Janus.” He introduced himself, having no idea what to do in this situation, once again not having expected any attention.

“He’s Ro’s boyfriend. Oh, he’s actually the one who I ran into. He recognized me from how much I look like Roman and we got to talking. So, if it wasn’t for him I never wo-” Ronnie had taken it upon himself to explain, but he didn’t get to finish his statement because Rose had already immediately run to Janus and given him the hug of a lifetime. At least this had the boys all laughing a bit, watching as Janus slowly hugged her in return. “...Mom, be careful with him, he’s not _us_. You can’t just squeeze him forever, he’ll pop.”

They were all thankful, especially in that moment, for Ronnie’s ability to dissipate tension. This was already such a ridiculous, crazy moment.. A bit of lightness really went a long way. It took a little while for them to actually be able to settle down and have some semblance of a regular birthday party. It was hectic and emotional and a completely new experience, but.. It was perfect. He had Janus at his side and was surrounded by this family.. By his family. He wouldn’t trade it for anything.


	10. Chapter 10

From then on, things had really never been better for Roman. He was feeling better about.. Everything in general, really. He was getting to know his brothers and his mom, things between him and Janus were amazing, and he was slowly warming up to this whole performing thing.

He was thankful he didn’t have many lines to learn, he didn’t know if he could handle that many eyes on him for a long period of time.. Maybe one day, but not yet. For now, he was having fun getting to learn his blocking, spending more time with work friends he normally didn’t get to as much.. This was just a nice little change of pace for him, and definitely one he was very aware he couldn’t have even dreamed of just a few short months ago. 

As the actual opening night of the show approached, he internally debated telling his parents and sister for a good while. He’d already told his mom and his brothers… Roman knew he was a softie, and he knew he’d let them have a pass way too many times.. Every single time, really. He also knew.. The likelihood that they’d be any better than they ever had before if he gave them just one last chance was slim to none. But this time.. He was more confident in himself - he still had rough days now and again, but more of them were good than bad. And he had Janus now. Janus had more assertiveness and composure in his pinky than Roman had in his whole body. Which was especially impressive when you took into account that he was _basically_ a foot taller than his boyfriend was. …But maybe don’t say that to Janus. 

In the end, he decided to tell them. He let Janus know what he’d done and explained his thought process to him.. He was giving them one last try. If they still kept up their behavior.. Well, he probably should have cut them off a long time ago. He’d been thinking about this a lot.. Honestly for years now. He’d never had a single friend who found out about his family and didn’t immediately tell him he’d be better off without them. That he deserved better. That he needed to do what was best for him. That he didn’t owe them anything. 

It had taken him a long time.. And he didn’t want to say that finding his birth family was the final push, it was more that… He felt accepted so wholly now. Janus had been helping him feel like he could open up, share more of himself.. And find out that people didn’t push him away for it. He’d been taught, he’d been so wholly convinced, that no one would want him for he was on the inside. That the people who knew him only kept him around despite those things. But.. He’d opened himself up to his coworkers, friends… His boyfriend, his family.. And they accepted him. They liked him. They.. Maybe he really did deserve good people.

The musical itself was amazing, Roman had a blast. He said his lines, he did what he was supposed to, he sang his parts.. Maybe he really would do this again. This.. It was exhilarating. And then at the end, the cheers and the clapping? His friends and coworkers telling him how great of a job he did? It was a rush. 

And then he found himself walking out from the backstage, out to the foyer, just like last time. His shoulders were back, his head was held high, nothing could bring him down. Not even- 

“Oh would you look at him, god is he even bigger than last time we saw him?” 

His eyes focused on the people before him, and there were his parents and his sister looking up at him. With one more breath to steel his nerves, keeping his posture confident, he responded. “..Hey. …Did you guys like the show?” 

Roman could see a bit of surprise move through their eyes, probably because he hadn’t immediately started to fold. 

“I’ve never been one for all this nonsense, but if this is how you want to waste your time.” His father shrugged, waving dismissively toward the theater.

“It wasn’t _bad_ , though I do wonder why they thought they could stick _you_ in a chorus line. You stick out like a big sore thumb.” His mother added.

“I wonder if there’s a comment box somewhere, I think whoever does the casting needs a wake up call.” Sicily said, her smug expression leaking into her tone. 

Roman exhaled slowly, still not folding, still keeping his head high. “I.. I don’t..” He took another breath in. “You can’t speak to me like this. I.. I don’t have to take this from you, and.. I’m not going to anymore. You either have to treat me with respect.. Or I’m not going to have you in my life anymore.” 

The three of them were visibly shocked, clearly Roman had never once stood up for himself. It was his mother who got over the surprise first, her expression cracking into a sneer. “Boy, who do you think you are? You’d be nothing without us. You think you can make it out here in the real world on your own? Completely alone? There’s no one who’d ever wa-”

“Excuse me, I have a question.” 

Roman had felt a hand on his back as his mother had been going on, the touch dragging around to his side and then pulling away, and then Janus was right there infront of him. Between him and his family. 

They were definitely surprised to see someone there, some amount of recognition playing across their faces as they placed the costumer. 

Roman’s father opened his mouth to respond to what he’d said, but Janus held up a hand, halting him in his tracks. The costumer stood his ground, staring at the three of them like his gaze would melt them to the floor. And then he began to speak. 

“How much of a vile, depraved wretch do you actually have to be to stoop as low as to belittle, mortify, and humiliate your own son? Actually, let me dumb that down, I don’t want to overload what I _generously_ assume is your one singular brain cell. What kind of sociopath gives someone life long self-esteem issues simply to feed their own ego? No person with any amount of a moral compass could spend twenty years tearing someone down just to try and improve their own opinion of themself. Though, perhaps calling you actual people is also too generous. I’m sure any similarities between you three and an actual human being are sheerly coincidental. I want you to know that I envy all those who have never had the misfortune of knowing you live and breathe, and I truly hope that the remainder of your life is filled only with those who are just like you, so that maybe, _maybe_ , one day you will understand the kind of stain you truly are on the world around you.”

Everyone in the vicinity was shocked, Janus breathing heavily just from the rage burning within him. Both of the women before him looked to Roman’s father, clearly expecting him to do something.

It took him a moment to stand his own ground, stepping forward slightly. “Who the hell do you think you are? I will not allow you to speak to my family in this manner.” 

“Oh, you can’t handle a taste of your own medicine? How _pathetic_.” Janus retorted, watching his face screw up into even more anger. “Aww.. It must be _so_ upsetting to find out you can dish it out but can’t take it.” 

His father took another slight step forward. “ _How dare you_. We’re going to settle this outside, unless you can’t put your money where your mouth is.” 

Janus made a contemplative expression, seeming like he was weighing his options, with all the seriousness of someone deciding what toppings they wanted on their pizza. “… _Mm_.. I don’t particularly want to. But they might.” The costumer crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, nodding behind the three of them.

They turned around, and only about a foot or so behind them were Rufus and Russell, face screwed up in anger and clearly more than ready to take Janus’s place in that offer of heading outside. And just behind them were Rose, Ray, and Ronnie, also with their arms crossed and staring daggers at them. 

It was a tense moment, but Roman couldn’t help but smile. Strangely enough, he’d never felt safer.. More protected and cared about. With the softest shadow of a smirk on his face, he spoke up, bringing all the attention back to him. “…What was it that you said? About me being alone? Because… It doesn’t seem that way to me.”

The three of them were stuck between a rock and a hard place - things that could be more accurately described as Janus and the twins, and they clearly didn’t know what to do. There was no end to this situation that ended well for them, their options had completely deplet- 

“Just.. Just go, okay? Just.. I don’t want this to have to happen this way. Just let it.. Be done.” Roman said slowly, looking at the three of them. 

Once again, Roman had shown that despite everything he’d dealt with, despite everything these people had done.. He was a good person through and through. They didn’t deserve his kindness or his respite. …Though Roman wasn’t sure that anyone deserved what Rufus and Russell could easily do to a person either. 

They immediately took the offer of an out, turning and fleeing the premises, not looking back once. Once the door to the outside had shut behind them, Roman let out an exhale, his expression tired. But his people were quickly around him, Janus hugging him from the side and his brothers coming up to give him praises and affirmations - and of course a big hug from Rose. 

Roman had been realizing it slowly, but this moment really hammered something home for him. These were the kind of people he deserved. He really deserved people who loved and cared about him, who would defend and protect him.. People that he would do the exact same for without hesitation. His friends, his family, his boyfriend.. This was right. This was.. Perfect. 


End file.
